I sit and wait quietly in
the church gym. This church is as big as my
entire neighborhood. It reminds me of every
school gym I have seen, except this gym boasts
money.
I watch the other moms as they sit down, walk around, get up and hug or shake hands with other
women. Busy and bustling with every air of importance.
Perfect curls and painted
faces…
Thoughts of comparison
creep into my mind. Urging myself to stop
comparing myself to these women I become distracted as I’m comforted by my next
thought
I wonder what their secrets
are…
Having been near religious people my whole
life, I know that the focus is The Appearance.
Hell, it’s the focus for
everyone these days religious or not. But I’ve noticed that the
religious ones seem to have more of a certain perfection status to live
up to.
Unfortunately, often this
“perfection” is only for the benefit of "the church", disguised through the
religious preachings
As love.
My self-deprecating
thoughts are lost as the thought creeps up on
me:
Everyone has secrets.
I look around, trying to imagine what everyone’s secrets are. What are they not saying? Who are they pretending to
be? What are they hiding behind those perfect curls, that "humor", the mask of makeup so
perfectly applied….?
Absurdly, the speaker is
speaking on Authenticity while these thoughts tumble around in my brain
unending.
Authenticity.
Showing up.
Being vulnerable.
Showing your whole self to
the world not just the parts you think they want to know
about. Not just the parts you think you want to know
about.
I wonder how many mothers in this room ever show up authentically...I doubt it's many.
How many people, in general would even recognize The Authentic much less appreciate it should it be right in front
of them...
