A major difficulty that is unavoidable to an HSP is the double
standards placed on HSPs by the rest of the world. I imagine most people
in general can relate to some sort of double standard within their personal or
professional lives. Double standards are everywhere in our world today.
For the HSP it's a little different though
and almost bordering on the non-HSPs being downright abusive.
In this dynamic the HSP is forced out into
a world that is nothing like them, doesn't cater to them, and worst of all -
believes (or denies) that they do not exist.
The HSP is a gentle soul with enormous
amounts of compassion and understanding for the human condition. The HSP is
vulnerable to feelings and sensations of all different kinds. From the
emotional twinges and upsets to sensations that stimulate the nervous system
causing physical, biological reactions in the body.
The world is seemingly oblivious to (or
denies) the fact that people like this do actually exist.
The world defines success as basically
plowing over everyone else to get what’s important – or what non-HSPs want.
The world defines success as how "untouchable" a person is, can
be, and appears to be.
HSPs have been forced to define success as not having a day that
overwhelms them to the point of complete and total emotional, mental, and
physical exhaustion.
The non-HSP will tell the HSP to just
"not be so sensitive" or to live in the world the way that non-HSPs
live in the world. When the HSP tries to do this, it doesn't work. HSPs
do not live or function the way that non-HSPs do.
The things that most people miss or pass
right by, the HSPs sense with their whole beings.
HSPs struggle greatly in a world that places value on popularity,
power, and cruelty. To HSPs, these things are trivial and are not
attainable to them because of their sincerity and astuteness – not that most
HSPs actually want these things. (And
also because to non-HSPs, there is "something wrong" with a person
who is aware, sincere, and loving.)
HSPs are observers. They understand the
minutia in interpersonal relationships.
For example, they have taken the time to observe how their neighbor
is creating excitement for herself by getting worked up about the small things.
How the same neighbor talks to other neighbors with these
"problems" as if they were the most important, exciting details in
all of life.
The HSP notices how as the neighbor talks
and gets worked up with her own words, her eyes hold a deep sadness and the
feeling of emptiness and insecurity illuminates out of her as if her body were
surrounded with an aura of desperateness.
The HSP notices how the woman at church who is always giving
examples of how she is an amazing Christian, is really insecure with a deep
self-loathing and seeking the approval of everyone around her.
The HSP doesn’t only notice these things but the HSP feels for
these people. The HSP wonders why they are so willing to deceive themselves.
For what? The HSP wonders.
The HSP knows how difficult it is to allow themselves to feel in
this world but the HSP prioritizes that over betrayal to one’s self.
HSPs are constantly cultivating awareness
in the way that they pay attention to small details like how a person can be
physically smiling but upon closer examination, how there is a wet heaviness in
their eyes. The pupils are round and full in the center of the iris. Upon close
observation, their forehead is scrunched up, the skin pulled taught up towards
the hairline. The HSP knows that even though this person is smiling, they are
not genuinely happy.
The HSP even understands the fear and denial of living
wholeheartedly with an openness and vulnerability to everything. The risks are great for non-HSPs. They might
lose their power, their status, or their popularity. For what? To simply show
up. (Something that is not of value to the non-HSP.)
The HSP has empathy for people who choose to live with walls built
around their hearts and souls. Though the
HSP does not understand why non-HSPs have to disregard the HSP’s choice to be
true to themselves and live courageously, allowing themselves to not only feel
the depth of the unpleasant feelings but also to feel the height of the most
pleasurable life experiences.
The HSP understands that emotions were meant to flow through
humans. The HSP understands that
building walls feels safe and comfortable but it also cuts humans off from the extreme joys
that life has to offer as well.
~ s.h.
