I'm Challenging You...

I'd like to challenge you on something.

We all have our opinions on issues. Many of us are even very outspoken.  We all have gained knowledge and insight from our parents, the people who raised us, our teachers, and our experiences.

But what if everything you thought you knew wasn't necessarily wrong but maybe it wasn't the only know?

What if how you do or say something isn't the only way to do or say it?

What if your experiences are vastly different from someone else's experiences?

And best of all, what if you could learn from someone who had experiences you couldn't even imagine in your dreams or worst nightmares?

It might not be comfortable, at least not at first. You might actually have to listen to someone. You might actually have to be willing to be wrong for once in your life. You might actually have to let your guard down and release the white-knuckle grip you have on it...

It might not be easy. Not at first. 

I've lived my whole life not doing things the way that others think I should. I've lived my whole life being judged and personally attacked for not doing things the way that others think I should.

Do I do this on purpose? Am I just a rebel without a cause?  

You might think that but the truth about me is that I've always been different. I was born different.  I've had experiences that many people are lucky enough not to have had. I've been through things a lot of you can only recognize as your worst nightmares.

I'm also a minority of the population by genetics. 

Believe me, I get it. I understand what it's like to be human. I understand what it's like to not only be human but to be opinionated and outspoken. There is nothing wrong with stating your opinion. There is nothing wrong with being loud about who you are and what you believe. I actually admire that both in myself and in others.

But sometimes, I notice, the same issues go around and around and we keep having the same conversations. The people may change, the voices may change, but there are certain issues that I've noticed where the dialogue continuously and consistently stays the same.

I just have to wonder about these conversations because if you asked those involved they would tell you they are working for change. And that's totally fine and valid and I love that people are working towards change but I have to wonder how they expect change out of spouting the same rehearsed lines over and over again.

What do you normally do if you want to lose weight? Do you continue eating McDonald's day after day and sitting on the couch? You could try it. But I'm willing to bet that you won't get the desired results.  No, to get your desired results, you cut calories, start eating more fruits and veggies, start walking for 30 minutes per day...And once you've formed these habits for a while, you will see results in losing weight.

I believe it's the same with conversations, with controversial or political issues. The way that you change something is by being creative. It's by doing what you haven't already tried. And you persevere. You keep trying and trying new and different things until one day, you've found the words that no longer separate humans into sides but acknowledge and validate each other as one of the same in this race we call human.

There Are No Weeds

I read this article a few days ago about how HSPs sometimes feel like weeds HSP Health: A Plant In The Right Place. 

It's true. I've spent most of my life feeling like a weed, a bother, a weirdo, an inconvenience for everyone else.

As I read this article, I began thinking about how sad it is that I've lived the majority of my life feeling like this. For what?  For only being the best I can be, being myself. As I've been discovering about my highly sensitive traits and what that means for my life and how it makes me different than others, I've realized that I feel like a weed because in general, that is how most of the world has treated me for most of my life.

I see this happening with my children too. For example, in their karate class (this is the last time I'll bring this up, I promise), their instructor seems okay at first. He's friendly, makes some good points about parenting and child growth and development. But somewhere along the way I see through his facade. I see that my awareness exceeds his teaching abilities.

It's the way that he told not only me and my children what he thinks of us and my parenting, but the whole entire class of both students and parents; how he never fails to mention and publicly praise what I call the "easy" children.  The ones who are in his eyes, perfect. The ones who he claims "work hard" and are "respectful".  Maybe to him. But that's not what I see.

I see these"easy" children as the kids that make the karate instructor's life and work easier. They make him look good because they conform to him without any questions asked. I don't know about you, but that's not the way that I want to raise my children. Questions should be asked until I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out and then some.

But in all honesty, how many of us have  or have had "relationships" like that? Where the people around you aren't really the people you truly like, they just make you look good.  My kids aren't bad kids but I have trouble not resenting the karate instructor (my issue, I know) for dismissing people only because they are different. Only because for whatever reason they don't do things the way that others do them.

The amount of times this has happened to me and now my children are too great to count. That's what most people do in this world and I'm not a fan of it. But it is the reason why that some people grow up through life thinking that they are weeds.  When your teachers, parents, and any adult who you are supposed to look up to for guidance on life treat you like you're "wrong" or "bad", that is the message that you deeply ingrain into your core being. That you are "wrong" or you are "bad".

But what if people who were different from us weren't actually the problem?  What if the problem was that we grew up thinking life was to be lived only one way?  

The next time someone scares you, offends you, upsets you, does something you simply do not understand, take a moment and really think about your next move. Are you going to start hating simply because you don't understand and are afraid? Or are you going to explore your strong emotions and have some consideration for someone living his or her life the best that he or she can?

Redefining Evolution

One thing that has been on my mind is the evolution debate. I don't even understand why this is a debate.  I'm going to try to debunk the myth if you'll allow me write the truth for you.

First of all, there is no "believing in" evolution. It's not really something to believe in. I guess you could have faith in it but let me try to start from the beginning for you.

Evolution simply means: the ability to adapt to changing environments.

I don't see how this is arguable since we have more than a lot of evidence or maybe I should say history that this has happened over the years. Let's take the "biology" or "science" part out of it for a minute. Maybe that will make it easier to understand.

I like to think of evolution in technological terms.  I think in this day and age with smartphones and computers, and the internet, it makes something like evolution a bit easier to understand.

For example, a very long time ago when humans first began creating civilizations, there weren't very many of them in large spaces and so their communities and the area of their towns were so small that it was easy to walk the length of them.  As the population began to grow (with more people being born), the space between the lengths of the town would grow too (more houses, shops, buildings, roads etc.) so people thought to themselves, "I wonder how I could make this easier and not have to walk so far each day."  

They got creative and began riding horses.  Soon, the distances were even larger, there were more people and more buildings and roads and someone thought, "Wouldn't it be swell if we could roll on wheels while the horse pulled us?"  And so the horse and carriage was born.

The horse and carriage proved to be bumpy and riding behind a horse wasn't the most ideal thing in the world, so someone thought, "What if we could power some wheels without the use of a horse?"

And so the very first automobile was invented using the knowledge from other moving vehicles like trains, humans began to realize their power to adapt to their changing environments. They began to use the human power of creativity to make their lives easier.

This is evolution. This is adapting to changing environments.  We are still doing it.

Take phones.  First there were radios, which were nice but could only reach certain distances, then there were phones with wires and lines but you had to stay within a 10 foot radius (phone cords).  Then the car phone. But only in your car or at home or at the office.

Then mobile phones.  And then with the internet came not only mobile phones but a whole mobile computer right in your purse or pocket.

All evolution. All adapting to changing environments.  All growing and changing and stretching of the human mind to better the lives of humans. All evolution.

I hope this gives you "non-believers" in evolution something to think about the next time you disagree so harshly with it. Like I said before it's not really something you believe in. Saying that, I do believe in the power of the human mind. I do believe in the power of creativity and I do have faith that we're all capable of growing and changing ourselves for the better.

But it is a choice.  So believing evolution is a lie or a myth is ultimately a choice but it's also going against reality if you look  not only at science but at history as well.