You know that feeling when someone says something to you and it feels like someone just took a cheap shot sucker punch right in the gut?
Now think about if you felt this with the intensity of those emotions magnified to a degree that overwhelmed your nervous system and caused over-stimulation and/or anxiety throughout your body.
Do you think you could handle that?
If you can imagine these things, you've been given a glimmer of what it is like to be me.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching because I have had a few recent experiences where the intensity of my emotions have caused me much stress.
Your un-thought-out, inconsiderate words cost me this over-stimulation and stress every single time. Maybe you think this is my fault as the most common thing I hear on a daily basis is, "You shouldn't be so sensitive." You have an excellent point except there is one thing lacking in your logic: My sensitivity is not exactly what you think it is.
My sensitivity is inherent, genetic, biological, I was born with it. My sensitivity is also not simply emotional. My sensitivity is the way my entire nervous system reacts to outside stimuli. This means that everything that you feel or do or react to, I do too except if you were me, your feelings and reactions would be magnified.
I am sensitive to loud noises, to caffeine, to temperatures, as well as many other stimuli. (Once again imagine your body's reactions to these stimuli magnified to much higher degree).
My sensitivity causes me more stress and over-stimulation than I need as an HSP because of society's beliefs on what it means to be sensitive. I find myself explaining and defending myself to ignorant, closed-minded people because they refuse to believe that I'm not like them.
The fact is, I'm not like most people. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, says that only 30% of the entire population is highly sensitive. So no. I am not ever going to be like the rest of the world or how the world says I should be.
I struggled with this for most of my life. I tried to hide my sensitivity, to suppress it, to avoid people...But the fact is, we can't run from who we are. So now, you may judge me harshly for not fitting into your expectation of how I should be but I am done playing that little game.
I am highly sensitive and everything that comes with being a highly sensitive person. I am open to you learning about me. I am open to your questions. But please keep in mind that your words and behaviors that you may view as perfectly innocent, can cause a lot of pain and a lot of damage in a person like me.
Please be mindful of that. And I will try to be mindful that you may not always understand me and I will try to be empathetic and patient with you.
~ S
