An email was sent out from my boys' school yesterday that the father of three children attending the school had passed away. I have a first grader and a kindergartner at the school so I thought the chances of one of the children being in one of my boys' classes were pretty good.
I took my boys to school today and found out that one of the boys who lost his father was in my kindergartner's class.
I go in once a week to help out in the classroom with my kindergartner's class. This little boy had been a trouble maker. He had anger issues that went as far as actually throwing desks.
I spent a lot of time with this particular child as my son's teacher needed me to since he was a class disrupt-or. At first, I was appalled by his behavior. I was a little frightened by a five-year-old who would, at not getting his way, throw things around the classroom, overturn desks, and punch the other children.
But when I got to spend time with him, I turned to what I always do with difficult people and I showed him some kindness. It wasn't much. I would praise him on his work saying things like, "Awesome job!" and "Nice work!" and I'd say things like, "Give me five!".
He was a smart kid but sometimes refused to do his work and I'd encourage him by saying, "Show me how well you know this. Show me how awesome you are!"
I'm not saying it was me who made the difference but after a few weeks, I did notice an improvement. When I would come in, he'd be excited to show me the great work he had done. When he was running in the classroom, I would barely have to whisper him to stop and he would look at me with a sheepish grin and stop.
Now, this child has been pulled from my son's school after losing his father yesterday. It makes me realize how important it is for me to give others a chance with kindness. I could have easily written this boy off and had the attitude that I didn't dare be near someone with such problems.
But instead, I chose to see him as more than his issues, as more than his pain and now he's made an impact on my life.
I don't know the details, but I do know his father had been really sick and he suddenly made a turn for the worst. Maybe his dad's illness had something to do with his behavior. I don't know.
But I do know that I'm glad I took the risk and I will be thinking about him and his family through this rough time and I will miss dearly the little boy I knew as the trouble maker.
~ s.h.
