Tell me again why it's a good idea to tell your children to "just tough it out" when someone behaves inappropriately.
Is it because we, as a society don't know what inappropriate vs. appropriate behavior actually is?
Is it because we don't want to deal with the experiences that actually come with raising a child?
Are we lazy in our parenting?
Do we just not care?
Is it because it is considered "weak" to not accept anything less than complete and total human respect?
Let me tell you why it's not a good idea to tell your children to just tough it out.
What kind of message do you want to send your children? If every time someone behaves inappropriately with them. Example: punches, kicks, etc. Don't you think it's a little invalidating to tell them to "just be tough", or "just tough it out"? What kind of message do you think they receive from that?
I'll tell you. They receive the message that it is completely acceptable, normal, and okay for any person to randomly come up and hit them, kick them, or push them. And worse. They receive the message that it is completely acceptable, normal, and okay for them (your child) to randomly hit, punch, or kick any random person including strangers.
Is this okay with you? It's not okay with me. Why should I send my children the message that violence is okay and completely normal and un-punishable? Is violence un-punishable when we become adults? I wouldn't imagine so as most adults who participate in violence do get punished for it by going to jail.
Another reason why sending the message that violence is normal and okay to our children is not okay is that we are teaching our children that the best people in the world are the ones who behave in inhumane ways with zero consequences. Why would that be good to teach our children?
In real life, there are consequences for our actions. Both physically and spiritually, depending on your beliefs.
Do you care about your child's future? Do you care about the future of humanity? If you do, then you'll understand why telling your children to just "toughen up" is the lazy, ignorant parenting way.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather do my job as a mom including having to deal with a few experiences (with teachers and parents) that may be uncomfortable for me so that I send a healthy message to my children.
Invalidating your children's needs by telling them to "toughen up" will not solve the problem of bullying and violence. You have to actually work at your job as a parent. You have to actually care enough about your children and their future. You have to stop being so selfish about your personal comfort level, put your children first, and do the right thing.
